Many highly sensitive people are afraid of grief, and it is precisely this fear that makes many of us unfamiliar with how grief can work to transform us.
Due to our natural aversion to it, many of us don’t know how to grieve and simply avoid it or suppress it when we can.
However, grief is something we all experience at some point in life.
It’s natural because we’re humans who care about people and also value both tangible and intangible things in our lives.
This makes us vulnerable to loss, but that doesn’t mean we shouldn’t care about others or avoid close relationships because of that fear. That would be shutting ourselves from a major benefit of the human experience.
As Highly Sensitive People, we need to learn to deal with grief in healthy ways and understand that there are multiple ways to navigate through it when it happens.
When you feel intense emotions of pain and suffering after experiencing a loss in your life, here are some healthy ways to grieve that can help get you through to the other side.
Write a Grief Letter
When grief happens, one of the first questions we ask ourselves is, “why?”
Loss hardly ever makes sense, which is what makes grief so intense.
For all the answers you don’t have within you, write a grief letter that includes all of your unanswered questions.
Just express yourself and all the emotions that you feel right now – fear, anger, sadness, and any others.
If you have lost someone you love express your sadness, guilt, regret, anger and all other emotions that you have for them in that letter.
In the short-term, your act of self-expression will help bring clarity and relief.
In time, you might be able to discover a whole new meaning from this experience.
How you see the situation from your point of pain currently and how you’ll see it in the future will differ. Writing this letter will provide catharsis, comfort, and could be the healing therapy you need right now.
“You Are Not Alone”
You are not alone, no matter how much it feels like it.
If you have lost someone in your family, grieving with the rest of your bereaved family and relatives will help you get through this dark moment in your lives easier.
If you break up with someone you love and care about, at times you’ll feel alone. However, when you look for it, many people are willing to support and help you get through this dark phase.
Even amidst a global crisis, we find that we are stronger going through difficult times together.
Recognize that there are people around you who care. Sometimes it all starts by deciding to open ourselves up and allowing people in our lives to know how we feel.
Acknowledge and Befriend Your Feelings – They Are Telling You Something Important
No matter how much suffering or pain your emotions make you feel right now, they are valid.
Allow yourself to feel your emotions, feel the hurt, the pain, the suffering, the anger.
Emotions do not last forever, but going through them is a must for healing to be possible.
You don’t have to make sense of what happened right now, nor should you rush into accepting it right away.
But by inviting your feelings and emotions to be expressed, you are beginning your journey towards healing.
You will get there.
Understand that Grieving is a Process – It is Not Instant or On-Demand
A lot of things in our lives require patience, and grief is no exception.
Going through grief will teach you about the need to be patient with yourself, as you deal with the chaos of your present experience.
Going through the process is necessary to reach healing, and even to discover meaning in your pain.
Whether you feel angry, regretful, or afraid, they’re all temporary emotions that you need to acknowledge and feel.
The sooner you do that, the sooner healing will come.
Take Care of Yourself
When you are overwhelmed by all these emotions within, it gets harder to do even the simplest tasks.
Emotions can be heavy and they might paralyze you for a while.
Try to take care of yourself as much as you can.
Sleep enough hours, eat well and practice self-care.
Sometimes deciding not to feel your grief all alone is part of taking care of yourself. Seek the strength and support of people who care about you.
Seek Counselling or Therapy
At times, grieving can be too intense to bear on your own. At those times, you shouldn’t try to cope alone.
Sometimes the best way through your grief is to seek professional counseling or therapy.
Other people might be able to help you cope better by using their experience and skills in navigating through something that is unfamiliar and unbearable for you.
Therapy has helped many people get through their grief. If you feel that you need professional help, you should seek it as soon as possible. Don’t try to struggle through your grief alone.